A Safe Place of my very own...

I'm already laughing at myself because; for some odd reason, I can only put my complete thoughts together in a way that I like at strange times when everyone else is sleeping. Its funny to me...in a real annoying way.

But I've got something on my heart...something that's been real heavy on my heart for the past week or less. And to be honest, I don't even know how to begin to write it out for you to understand how much its been weighing on my heart. I will try...

I love the moments when God speaks to me. It doesn't happen all the time. In fact, there are many seasons when I feel quite alone. Like, 'where have you gone?'

But I KNOW HE IS HERE. He is always with me...its life that tells me otherwise. I'm sure you've felt the same way. It doesn't take a tragedy to happen in your life to feel like God has left you. Just life.

I'm getting to my point...just felt like meddling there for a moment.

I've been reading in the book of Psalms lately as much as I possibly can. I often will drift away from the usual psalms because the Bible has so much more to read. This time - i'm sure that God was leading me there for a reason. You will find when you read in Psalms a number of occasions when David (or whoever may be the author in that psalm) will remind himself of God has his Shelter, Refuge, fortress.

Funny thing is...people don't usually use these words anymore. You don't find someone saying 'Hey, soooo what does your shelter look like?' Or 'Let's go build a fortress so no one will break into your house.' I mean, i'm sure we all said stuff like that when we were kids creating make-shift fortresses or castles with our brother or sisters. I definitely did. It was the world of make believe...and I was safe there.

All these scriptures using these words just kept coming up over and over and over. Then I looked up the word shelter. Not because I didn't know what it meant, but because I know how we can all misuse words that were never intended for the meanings we have created for them over time. Here it is:

Shelter -
1. something beneath, behind, or within which a person, animal, or thing is protected from storms, missiles, adverse conditions, etc.; refuge.
2. the protection or refuge afforded by such a thing: He took shelter in a nearby barn.
3. protection from blame, incrimination, etc.
4. a dwelling place or home considered as a refuge from the elements: Everyone's basic needs are food, clothing, and shelter.
5. a building serving as a temporary refuge or residence for homeless persons, abandoned animals, etc.

As you can see...#3 is my favorite. And then it hit me. You know the moments when you've read something a bajillion times and; yes its good, but you didn't GET it yet.
In many of the psalms, David was running from his adversaries. His enemy. Time after time, he was wrongly accused and thrown into isolation from safety for long periods of time. BUT...He got to know God as his shelter, refuge, and fortress.

I have never had an army chasing after me or kings of kingdoms angry with me. David felt very alone many a day because of this. But he found safety in God. A God who was faithful in always protecting David. You see, God truly is our Shelter. He is is our protection from the blame or incrimination that the enemy brings our way. The lies the enemy whispers and tries to get you to hear all the time...God is our shelter from even this. He's our refuge in the midst of the battle of all battles in your life.

In the moment of your utmost weakness - the point of almost giving up - God is our SAFE PLACE (refuge, shelter, fortress).

Only...this isn't make-believe anymore. This is for real. Life is REAL. It really throws ugly, unfair things our way. But God is JUST as real. And when we learn to run to Him as our shelter...our safe place instead of anything or anyone else - that is when we find REAL peace and solace. The kind that can not be explained.

The more I meditate on the beautiful truth that God is my refuge from the storms of life...the more I realize - I want to create that safe place for someone else. I know I can't fix everyone's problems. I can't change the fact that your parent's are getting a divorce or that your husband/wife just left you, but I can build a house (a refuge) that invites peace. The kind of peace that doesnt' make sense to anyone else.

That's what we are as followers of Christ. We're meant to be a people that are so full of the peace of God (even in the storms of life) that we can offer that same peace to those who are struggling to understand their own lack of it.

There was a family I knew back home in Texas who were this very thing for me. Their house wasn't extravogent in any way. But from the moment you walked into the house, you felt peace. You felt safe, at home. It wasn't my home but it sure felt good to be there. I went through heaps as a teenager and I remember specifically many other young people who would always hang out there for that very reason.

And we are meant to do this without judgement to those who aren't able to experience that peace yet. We lead people with love to the truth ...remember that.

That is exactly how God drew us to himself....with love to truth. It was then that I found a safe place of my very own.

you are loved...

Its all a little 'hazey' at 1am

I'm currently at work. taking a wee break. thinking about lots. future. past. now.

I'm involved with helping young people...incredible girls... almost on a daily basis. Just hang out with them, chat, laugh, hopefully change their perspective on life, hopefully change their life, hopefully keep them out of trouble...even more...hopefully help them to know about the Love of Jesus for them.

Tonight was different to any other night. I'm still sort of in awe of what did happen. Sure, there was the usual stuff I hear every day/week (trouble at home, school, boys, etc)...but tonight, i'm pretty sure I was in 2 places at the same time: my past, and present.

One of the incredible young girls asked to speak with me after we got done chatting all together. So we went to the kitchen away from everyone else. I'd expected her to tell me something completely opposite to what she did. But instead she told me how much she looked up to me. She saw so many qualities in me that she wanted to have one day. She told me that It seemed I was at peace with things like being single..etc...just at peace with life. She then said to me, "I wanna be strong like you...and I want people to look at me and say the things they do about you."

BIG SELAH MOMENT!!!

First. I didn't know what to say...because to be completely honest, I don't see those things about myself...we never usually do :) We tend to look at all the flaws instead of our strengths.

I was nothing short of speechless for a few moments. Not because I hadn't been encouraged before, but because in that moment, I saw myself HER AGE saying the same thing to someone that I'd admired years before...thinking...'am I ever going to have anyone say those things about me one day?'

The reason I say all that is to say this one thing: sometimes its hard to see the progress we are making in life; especially since we are living it here and now. And it may seem like you are making NO progress at all...but later on you will be sitting down (or standing) with someone who will be telling you how you've impacted their life for good. And whether or not you want to believe that you have - you have. And you will.

I guess the slightly scary reality in all of this is that we will all impact a life/lives...but whether its for good or bad...is completely up to us.

When you realize you actually do have influence...its humbling - to say the least. BUT when you realize the 'weight' of that truth...its even more humbling. I want to believe in as many people as humanly possible. I want to enable a young person; through my belief in them, to get to place in their life where they are also influencing others for good. To a place where one day they are sitting down with someone they mentor hearing them say the very things this girl said to me.

THAT is leaving a legacy that carries on long after you have left this earth.

So maybe I rambled...just maybe...but then again, its all a little hazey at 1am.
...Well make that 2am now.

Love



p.s. photo is of thousands of young people who in one night were all impacted by ONE man's story. He believes in every single one of those young people. They knew it. Everyone knew it. And we were changed...for good.

I...really don't know what I'm doing..

So...Hey..

This is OBVIOUSLY my first blog...and to be honest, I have never had a desire to have one previous to...well...10 minutes ago when I realized that I actually do love to write. I just hate writing with pen and paper. So 'journaling' was never my thing. And I have no idea why or where I ever got the idea that it had to be limited to pen and paper.

(SELAH)

Which has brought me to my VERY FIRST BLOG!!! Its a big deal for me...primarily because I have no idea if anyone will read this. Nonetheless...its good for my soul to write.

Let me tell you what you will never find in my blogging...eh...or attempts of...

You'll will never find me bashing anyone. No presidents, political leaders, countries, religions, races..EVER. Cruel words start wars...and frankly, i've seen enough of that. So as much I am all for opinion and expressing freely what I believe - I'm not into bashing people with my words. And if you are friends with me...you will have found out that I hate it. I feel like it accomplishes nothing; there is a way to express what you believe without doing so. What a world it would be if that is how we all acted?

But what I do hope that my blogging accomplishes is to somehow open your heart and mind to love more. To love life, people, and hopefully...one day...Jesus. I'm not aiming at directing this blog towards any one particular kind of people, I hope that everyone that reads my words would ultimately be encouraged after doing so. I hope that they will cause you to think (in a healthy way) about how we could better live our lives FOR OTHERS...not just ourselves.

What if...at the end of our life...we looked back and were GENUINELY satisfied with the work that we had done here on Earth? That as much as we had lived a fun life and spent it with family and friends whilst also enjoying the random indulgences we can get our hands on...that we GAVE freely as well.

Heavy. I know...

When you've seen poverty, pain, sorrow, imprisoned children who have never had the choice on whether or not they wanted to be a prostitute...when you've opened your eyes to REALLY see it...you actually feel convicted to never live the same. You want to change.

Just think back to the moment when someone (anyone) reached out to you... Given you money when you didn't know how you were going to eat...paid for your train fare when you didn't know how you were going to get home from work at 10 o'clock at night...stayed all night with you - through the convulsions caused by your addiction to drugs - so that you could beat it.

Who was it that helped you when everyone else gave up on you?

So i'm at the end of my first blog...and...I guess...that is what this blog is about.

You are LOVED...

Nat

P.s. The photo above is me at an orphanage in Indonesia...some of the most incredible girls ive EVER met.