Tonight...my heart is heavy.
For many reasons...all of which stem from this one thought in my head... "AM I EVER GOING TO BE ENOUGH?"
I don't know every single female in the whole world, but I'm positive that I'm not the only girl that has ever asked this question of herself.
Or how about these questions...?
Should I dress more like this or that?
Should I wear more makeup?
Should I wear less makeup?
Is it because I am not rich?
Is it because of my past?
Should I be more quiet?
Should I be more loud...outgoing?
Am I too boring?
Am I obnoxious?
Am I not pretty enough?
Am I worthy of waiting for?
Should I settle?
Should I lower my standards?
Am I skinny enough?
Am I tall enough?
Am I too tall?
Am I fun?
AM I ENOUGH?
SOUND FAMILIAR?????
Darlings. You need to know something...WE need to know something...as in, KNOW IT...That we are most definitely enough for someone. JESUS.
We can so easily allow the media to dictate how we view ourselves...and we mustn't let it. WE ARE ABOVE THAT. We are enough. So go ahead and get those fun, chick magazines and allow your creativity to be stirred as you look at the gorgeous photos...and soak up the fun fashion. BUT as soon as your mind begins to wander into the land of "am I enough?"...I think it'd be a good time to put that magazine down/shut your computer off...and Pick up your sword. ALSO known as the word of GOD.
Remind yourself of what He says about you. Never forget that the VERY CREATOR Himself looks at you, and He looks at me...He doesn't see one single flaw. He sees perfection.
READ Psalm 139...THE WHOLE THING. Read it again. And again, and again. Until you GET IT. Until you really understand that you are wonderfully made.
I have wondered too many times in my life...if I was ever going to be enough for any guy. More recently, this is the case. It is amazing what a broken heart can "vomit up"... and how I thought I had dealt with certain beliefs about myself years ago...beliefs about my future.
So here I am UPROOTING a belief that has produced more ugly fruit that I'd like to admit. There have been WAY too many sleepless nights...and tears in response to my realization of this. Now, I could be discouraged if I let myself...but the TRUTH is, I'm on my way to FREEDOM.
I'm nearly there. NEARLY. I know that because - just like a wound healing looks ugliest before it goes away...so is this.
RETRAIN THE MIND.
RENEW THE MIND.
That's what i'm doing. That's what I'm going to do for the REST of my life...because I know that there will be more incorrect beliefs in my life that I will need to uproot. I'm up for growth...I'm up for doing whatever it takes to be more free.
Ultimately, our freedom is so that others may know the same kind of freedom we have been given.
Imagine a world where people were free from wondering if they were ENOUGH...what would that even look like?!
So, If you've ever asked yourself this question...especially recently...let me remind you of how much you are better off BEING YOURSELF than you are being anyone else. Plus, there really isn't anything more attractive than when people are being themselves.
YOU ARE ENOUGH. I AM ENOUGH. WE ARE ENOUGH.
Don't strive in wondering if you are...JUST BE YOU.
You are loved...
xoxo
