If it were possible to dedicate a blog to someone in the Heavens I would; I would dedicate it to my Savior...my first love. How patient, caring, kind, generous, good, life-giving, joy-restoring....He has been to me. Grateful would be such a mediocre word to describe how I feel towards Him, but unfortunately, I can not find a more sufficient word at the moment. So, grateful it shall be! I think ultimately HE knows my heart...HOW AMAZING!!
Not even 5 minutes ago, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a scripture: PSALM 61:2 - (NIV)
"From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
Now let me show you the same verse(plus more) in the Message version:
God, listen to me shout, bend an ear to my prayer.
When I'm far from anywhere,
down to my last gasp,
I call out, "Guide me
up High Rock Mountain!"
You've always given me breathing room,
a place to get away from it all,
A lifetime pass to your safe-house,
an open invitation as your guest.
You've always taken me seriously, God,
made me welcome among those who know and love you.
I remember being taught that we should rejoice in the Lord even in our sorrow-filled season, just as much as we do in our mountaintop-filled season; I completely agree, because the Lord deserves our praise always. But one thing I noticed about myself, is that I have only learned how to praise God in sorrow-filled seasons BECAUSE I learned to praise Him when I felt like I was on top of the mountain. Perplexing as it may seem, it is possible to be on the mountaintop WHILE you are actually in the VALLEY....
I am not sure I can really explain that beyond the fact that I know what I mean. I believe God is a safe place to run to in battle, in distress, in fear, in overwhelming circumstances, in debt, in sickness, in failures...
God is that high mountain the scriptures speak of...it is the place where I have learnt how to trust, and lean upon Him. It is the place where I learned how to rejoice in EVERY season.
The mountains have taught me everything...
His love is a banner over you,
xx
Friday, October 22, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Just the Way You Are....BEAUTIFUL
Women are beautiful; each uniquely given characteristics that the another does not have; and each display the beauty of our Creator. Not one woman is a mistake.
Contrary to what the media is teaching our woman; and even worse, our young girls, we are ALL beautiful...and not just on the inside. Unfortunately, there has always been a "standard" set; it is the "standard" of what women should look like, and every other woman who doesn't look like that "standard," needs to change. WHO MADE THE STANDARD THE STANDARD? Really...I want to know; because I remember a time, when "hearty" looking women, were more attractive than skinny-weightless women. Not that there is anything wrong with being skinny...
Last week, I spent time sharing with a friend of mine some of the thoughts that I had been having recently...knowing they were silly, and undoubtedly, untrue...but I needed to say them, nonetheless.
I told her how much I had been struggling with how I saw myself; and how more often then not, as of recently, I had been viewing myself as unattractive, ugly, not thin enough, not fit enough...and the list continued. She stood there listening as I went on to explain how I knew that those things weren't true about me, but how the thoughts had been taking too much of my time...I knew I was wrong; but I didn't "feel" like it.
What is even more ridiculous, is the number of times in my life, that I have been consumed by thoughts like this; but I know I'm not alone. I know that there are thousands of women out there, who are so consumed by their "imperfections."
I have seen woman robbed of their belief in themselves, more than I can even tell you. I breaks my heart, because I have never seen a woman, that I didn't believe was beautiful; I truly mean that.
Here is the crazy part. My friend began to share with me how she had been feeling the same way. I remember standing there thinking, "Oh my goodness, you're perfect though," and thinking that having her figure, would be so much easier. Ha...how completely naive and silly! No matter how stunning I thought she was, she still dealt with the same thoughts I did.
We, as women, desire one major thing; to feel beautiful. Notice I didn't say LOOK beautiful. We are hilariously confusing to any male, who would most likely, never see a difference in our appearance from day to day. Whereas, you and I, would notice that our face looked "bigger" today than yesterday, or that our butt looked too big/flat/small, or our face looked to pale, etc, etc...blah blah.
It's completely ludicrous what we obsess over! But it still matters to us, because we want to feel beautiful; and even more, to be desired. The days that we feel beautiful, we tend to walk a little taller, speak louder, laugh more, smile more, and confidently approach our day. But the woman who KNOWS she is beautiful, will make a decision in spite of how she "feels;" and she'll decide everyday, that she IS beautiful. She will DECLARE it, if she needs to.
I've told the following story so many times, but I love it....
Back in Sydney, I attended a connect group with about 10 other girls my age. On this one particular night, the leader asked us when we felt the most beautiful. As all the girls took their turn around the circle to answer the question, most of the answers had to do with wearing a dress, or wearing makeup, or exercise, or spending time with their boyfriend.
When the question reached a friend of mine named Katie, she answered with this, "I feel the most beautiful, when I am in the presence of God; when I am spending time with Him."
We were speechless, mainly because we couldn't think of a better answer. There is nothing else on the planet that has ever made us feel more beautiful than spending time with our Creator God. We all agreed, and then just sat there pondering the thought of how much we feel both accepted and loved more than ever when we are spending time with Him. There is no one that will ever exist on the earth that will NEVER get tired of hearing our voice, never get tired of loving us, and NEVER get tired of spending time with us...except for God. He'd spend every moment of the day with us, if we would let Him.
It's so sad to me when I walk up into a conversation and the women are just bad-mouthing themselves and feeding off of each other's "self-fault-finding." It is so unhealthy, and you walk away from those conversations feeling worse about yourself. Come on GIRLS, we are better than this!
Anyhow, I thought it'd be real great if we held each other accountable; you know, being our sister's keeper. (Don't think about the movie, you'll just cry). We need to allow time for each other to vent out how we feel, but we also need to know when to quit, and to look upward and to what the word of God says about us. We are not a mistake, or one big flaw. We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. =)
Psalm 139:13-16 (message) "Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
Last week, I spent time sharing with a friend of mine some of the thoughts that I had been having recently...knowing they were silly, and undoubtedly, untrue...but I needed to say them, nonetheless.
I told her how much I had been struggling with how I saw myself; and how more often then not, as of recently, I had been viewing myself as unattractive, ugly, not thin enough, not fit enough...and the list continued. She stood there listening as I went on to explain how I knew that those things weren't true about me, but how the thoughts had been taking too much of my time...I knew I was wrong; but I didn't "feel" like it.
What is even more ridiculous, is the number of times in my life, that I have been consumed by thoughts like this; but I know I'm not alone. I know that there are thousands of women out there, who are so consumed by their "imperfections."
I have seen woman robbed of their belief in themselves, more than I can even tell you. I breaks my heart, because I have never seen a woman, that I didn't believe was beautiful; I truly mean that.
Here is the crazy part. My friend began to share with me how she had been feeling the same way. I remember standing there thinking, "Oh my goodness, you're perfect though," and thinking that having her figure, would be so much easier. Ha...how completely naive and silly! No matter how stunning I thought she was, she still dealt with the same thoughts I did.
We, as women, desire one major thing; to feel beautiful. Notice I didn't say LOOK beautiful. We are hilariously confusing to any male, who would most likely, never see a difference in our appearance from day to day. Whereas, you and I, would notice that our face looked "bigger" today than yesterday, or that our butt looked too big/flat/small, or our face looked to pale, etc, etc...blah blah.
It's completely ludicrous what we obsess over! But it still matters to us, because we want to feel beautiful; and even more, to be desired. The days that we feel beautiful, we tend to walk a little taller, speak louder, laugh more, smile more, and confidently approach our day. But the woman who KNOWS she is beautiful, will make a decision in spite of how she "feels;" and she'll decide everyday, that she IS beautiful. She will DECLARE it, if she needs to.
I've told the following story so many times, but I love it....
Back in Sydney, I attended a connect group with about 10 other girls my age. On this one particular night, the leader asked us when we felt the most beautiful. As all the girls took their turn around the circle to answer the question, most of the answers had to do with wearing a dress, or wearing makeup, or exercise, or spending time with their boyfriend.
When the question reached a friend of mine named Katie, she answered with this, "I feel the most beautiful, when I am in the presence of God; when I am spending time with Him."
We were speechless, mainly because we couldn't think of a better answer. There is nothing else on the planet that has ever made us feel more beautiful than spending time with our Creator God. We all agreed, and then just sat there pondering the thought of how much we feel both accepted and loved more than ever when we are spending time with Him. There is no one that will ever exist on the earth that will NEVER get tired of hearing our voice, never get tired of loving us, and NEVER get tired of spending time with us...except for God. He'd spend every moment of the day with us, if we would let Him.
It's so sad to me when I walk up into a conversation and the women are just bad-mouthing themselves and feeding off of each other's "self-fault-finding." It is so unhealthy, and you walk away from those conversations feeling worse about yourself. Come on GIRLS, we are better than this!
Anyhow, I thought it'd be real great if we held each other accountable; you know, being our sister's keeper. (Don't think about the movie, you'll just cry). We need to allow time for each other to vent out how we feel, but we also need to know when to quit, and to look upward and to what the word of God says about us. We are not a mistake, or one big flaw. We are FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE. =)
Psalm 139:13-16 (message) "Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made! "
I have heard that a woman who is confident, is more attractive. I used to think it was the other way around; it's not. A woman who believes in herself will stand out and her smile will be radiant.
I'm not the biggest fan of my smile, for many reasons, but I love to laugh; I figure something's got to give in my dilemma. I figure, am more attractive when I am smiling and enjoying life than when I am obsessing over my "seemingly-obvious" flaws. Not to mention, it's a big FAT waste of my time.
I'm loving Bruno Mars' song "Just the Way you Are" so much right now! (Thought I'd share it with you) And the lyrics...nothing too profound...but they are just right. Girls, if you don't have guy right now who thinks this way about you, you will one day...don't settle for someone who thinks you should look differently than you do... You're beautiful just the way you are.
Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are
Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day
Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Welcomed "Melodramatic-ness"...
Today; or rather, THIS WEEK, has been one of those weeks, where I'm almost positive, that each and every possible challenge that could come my way, has gladly catapulted (unannounced), into my life. Even more, I feel as though, these challenges have literally slapped me across the face. It's almost as if, they were trying to remind me that they existed. Believe me, Mr. Challenge, I know you still exist!!! (O.K. I know I'm bordering 'nerd-i-ness' for acknowledging my frustration with a verb and not a noun).
In fact, I feel a little silly for even feeling challenged by what is challenging me. Horrible confrontations with people I lead, overwhelming responsibilities and my desire to be elsewhere...these are silly things to be consumed with, I know. Perhaps by the end of this wee-little message, I'll be just fine and dandy. :)
Ohhhhh BLESS those confrontational situations...you gotta know that the Lord wants you to handle them better if everything in you, wants to avoid them. Ha! I don't know many people who actually ENJOY the confrontation; even if it is with a good friend. But, in any type of family - whether it be Church, work, home, etc, we've got to face them...and we've got to do it well.
Everything we do, involves people. It involves their heart, feelings, concerns, dreams, preconceived ideas of how it should/could be, their hurts, and their deepest desires for the things, that only they can understand. When you work with people, you've got to expect that feelings will flare up, defenses will shoot up like "jack and the bean stalk" all the sudden, and that you may not even know how it all happened. But nonetheless, people matter...far more, than we give them credit for!
I think this is going to become my daily prayer; one that I hope, never becomes monotonous in it's meaning...
Lord, please show me how to have 'thick' skin; to not take things too personal. After all, most situations aren't about me. Give me your eyes, and your ears to hear and see your children, the way that you do. Help me to give them a chance, when they speak out of anger. Help me Lord to be more like you. Help me to see where I went wrong, and how I could have loved and respected that person better. I know how much I need you EVERY SINGLE DAY...so Lord, please help me to remember that. I pray that they would know how much you love them, and how much they are valued, through the way that I listen to them. May I always, always be slow to speak, and quick to listen. It is because of your grace, and your compassion on me, that you listen and love like you do. I haven't earned what you give me. So freely, I have received your grace, now Lord help me to freely give it. Amen.
I got to thinking about another 'little' something the other day. Ever so often, I get overwhelmed by how many areas in my life I need to work on. I get to feeling like I'm doing 'not so bad,' and then all the sudden, BAM! I've got like a million areas I'm not doing so good in. The Holy Spirit reminded me of something the other day that He showed me ages ago. He reminded me that if I didn't notice those areas in my life that I needed to work on, I wouldn't be listening to Him. And because I am listening to Him, and wanting to change, I am becoming (as slow as it may be :) more like Jesus. What a patient God that I get to serve!
Do I always react the way I should in every situation? NO WAY...but I'm learning. If I will see each time I mistreat someone, or that I can have the capacity to be teachable if/when I do, that I am obedient enough to humble myself, and make it right; straight away, not years down the road. Obedience is humility at it's finest!
So I guess, the challenge really is, to always love one another. That is such a huge statement to uphold and live by. I wanna at least say, at the end of my life, that I gave it everything. The lazy person, won't try, because they feel that they are the way they are, and everyone else has to deal with it. I don't want to be that person. Lord please show me where I've been a complete idiot to someone else!
We're all on this earth to work together, and see some incredibly amazing things happen - in the name of Jesus. How can we do this, if we are allowing our pride to get in the way?
Pride, you aren't welcomed here anymore...that's what I say!
Daily, my pride is gonna be left at the cross...where it is meant to stay. Christ died for even something as 'consuming' as pride.
Father God, in my life, be lifted high....
Love to you all...xx
In fact, I feel a little silly for even feeling challenged by what is challenging me. Horrible confrontations with people I lead, overwhelming responsibilities and my desire to be elsewhere...these are silly things to be consumed with, I know. Perhaps by the end of this wee-little message, I'll be just fine and dandy. :)
Ohhhhh BLESS those confrontational situations...you gotta know that the Lord wants you to handle them better if everything in you, wants to avoid them. Ha! I don't know many people who actually ENJOY the confrontation; even if it is with a good friend. But, in any type of family - whether it be Church, work, home, etc, we've got to face them...and we've got to do it well.
Everything we do, involves people. It involves their heart, feelings, concerns, dreams, preconceived ideas of how it should/could be, their hurts, and their deepest desires for the things, that only they can understand. When you work with people, you've got to expect that feelings will flare up, defenses will shoot up like "jack and the bean stalk" all the sudden, and that you may not even know how it all happened. But nonetheless, people matter...far more, than we give them credit for!
I think this is going to become my daily prayer; one that I hope, never becomes monotonous in it's meaning...
Lord, please show me how to have 'thick' skin; to not take things too personal. After all, most situations aren't about me. Give me your eyes, and your ears to hear and see your children, the way that you do. Help me to give them a chance, when they speak out of anger. Help me Lord to be more like you. Help me to see where I went wrong, and how I could have loved and respected that person better. I know how much I need you EVERY SINGLE DAY...so Lord, please help me to remember that. I pray that they would know how much you love them, and how much they are valued, through the way that I listen to them. May I always, always be slow to speak, and quick to listen. It is because of your grace, and your compassion on me, that you listen and love like you do. I haven't earned what you give me. So freely, I have received your grace, now Lord help me to freely give it. Amen.
I got to thinking about another 'little' something the other day. Ever so often, I get overwhelmed by how many areas in my life I need to work on. I get to feeling like I'm doing 'not so bad,' and then all the sudden, BAM! I've got like a million areas I'm not doing so good in. The Holy Spirit reminded me of something the other day that He showed me ages ago. He reminded me that if I didn't notice those areas in my life that I needed to work on, I wouldn't be listening to Him. And because I am listening to Him, and wanting to change, I am becoming (as slow as it may be :) more like Jesus. What a patient God that I get to serve!
Do I always react the way I should in every situation? NO WAY...but I'm learning. If I will see each time I mistreat someone, or that I can have the capacity to be teachable if/when I do, that I am obedient enough to humble myself, and make it right; straight away, not years down the road. Obedience is humility at it's finest!
So I guess, the challenge really is, to always love one another. That is such a huge statement to uphold and live by. I wanna at least say, at the end of my life, that I gave it everything. The lazy person, won't try, because they feel that they are the way they are, and everyone else has to deal with it. I don't want to be that person. Lord please show me where I've been a complete idiot to someone else!
We're all on this earth to work together, and see some incredibly amazing things happen - in the name of Jesus. How can we do this, if we are allowing our pride to get in the way?
Pride, you aren't welcomed here anymore...that's what I say!
Daily, my pride is gonna be left at the cross...where it is meant to stay. Christ died for even something as 'consuming' as pride.
Father God, in my life, be lifted high....
Love to you all...xx
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Distance makes the heart grow fonder...Time will tell the truth.
Rainy days always, always get me thinking more than I should. Funnily enough, I should be working on my college work; clearly I'm not.
I like meditating on what I've been blessed with...and even the things I long to have. Dreams-yeah...I've got plenty of those. Needs and desires? Sure...I've got plenty of those too. But the most beautiful thing about the wait, is the journey. The journey is the hardest part. It's the place where you give the most, and where you understand the least. The questions and concerns about where you're at are endless, and seem to never get answered.
But then the day comes; the day that has been months (sometimes, years) in the making. It's a magnificent day indeed! It's one of those moments that you've labored over for so long. You're in awe, so you just stand there in a sort of shock that you're where you're at in that moment. Thankfulness is a given; of course.
.....I think we'd all agree that these glorious days are where we'd rather be; as few as they are. 'Journey' days are the more common. They are also the most despised by you and I.
How easy is it to give thanks when everything is going our way and when our dreams come true so quickly?
(I'll answer for you) ---- It's VERY easy!
BUT thankfulness is due no matter what is happening or not happening. There is always someone who is less fortunate than you or I. I've heard it said that perspective is essential...I couldn't agree more.
(Here's the point I'm trying to make!!!)
Don't you remember that dream/desire that was so dear to your heart, that you labored over for so long? Do you remember the tears/sweat that you poured out over it? Do you remember thinking "Is this ever going to happen?" Did you ever feel like giving up on what you thought looked impossible, and almost did? Then, do you remember the day when 'it' all FINALLY came to pass?! Do you remember the feelings you had?
(Ha! I'd like to call this "the step-by-step process of a dream coming to pass." It's the journey we've all been on, and will continue to go on as long as we are living.)
There's a saying that I think is correct MOST of the time. :) It says this: "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Some things tell the truth over time...if you know what I mean. You can find out if something is real or temporary just by waiting. Sooner or later, time really will tell you.
Then there are those rare, 'you can count on one hand' moments when time has made your desire for that dream grow far more than you ever imagined. You've prayed, cried over, worked hard to protect, and waited on God the whole way through it....and years later, it's this very pure, real, 'built on a strong foundation' kind of dream. All that's left to do now is wait. Hard as it may be, that 'glorious' day will come.
There's a distance between where you are right now, and where you may want to be. There is a distance between what you have, and what you want to have (good, pure desires). When it is a 'good' distance (the kind that proves itself over time), it is a real beautiful thing.
I've seen it so many times in those closest to me. I've heard their deepest desires and been with them through the midnight 'break-downs' where questioning their own dream is louder than their faith in it. I've been there myself. I'm still there in one or more ways right now. But I can honestly say; this distance that I feel in between the here and the future, is making my heart grow fonder. It's quietly creating a deeper, stronger patience for the wait. Patience is real love...(for whatever you're waiting for)...and it's much deeper than 'what you want right now." The longer you wait - the more selfless you become.
The day you are walking in what you only once dreamed and toiled(emotionally) over, you're also ready for it. You've been preparing and praying for so long. Don't despise the wait...use it, and allow your heart to grow more fond of the future.
There were so many times, I wondered "Is this for real...what I desire/dream?" And time always told me the truth about it's future in my life.
Embrace the waiting....let your heart grow fonder of what you're praying for, dreaming of, longing for. And sooner or later, time will tell you the truth.
Lean on Jesus...you are loved by Him more than you know,
xx
I like meditating on what I've been blessed with...and even the things I long to have. Dreams-yeah...I've got plenty of those. Needs and desires? Sure...I've got plenty of those too. But the most beautiful thing about the wait, is the journey. The journey is the hardest part. It's the place where you give the most, and where you understand the least. The questions and concerns about where you're at are endless, and seem to never get answered.
But then the day comes; the day that has been months (sometimes, years) in the making. It's a magnificent day indeed! It's one of those moments that you've labored over for so long. You're in awe, so you just stand there in a sort of shock that you're where you're at in that moment. Thankfulness is a given; of course.
.....I think we'd all agree that these glorious days are where we'd rather be; as few as they are. 'Journey' days are the more common. They are also the most despised by you and I.
How easy is it to give thanks when everything is going our way and when our dreams come true so quickly?
(I'll answer for you) ---- It's VERY easy!
BUT thankfulness is due no matter what is happening or not happening. There is always someone who is less fortunate than you or I. I've heard it said that perspective is essential...I couldn't agree more.
(Here's the point I'm trying to make!!!)
Don't you remember that dream/desire that was so dear to your heart, that you labored over for so long? Do you remember the tears/sweat that you poured out over it? Do you remember thinking "Is this ever going to happen?" Did you ever feel like giving up on what you thought looked impossible, and almost did? Then, do you remember the day when 'it' all FINALLY came to pass?! Do you remember the feelings you had?
(Ha! I'd like to call this "the step-by-step process of a dream coming to pass." It's the journey we've all been on, and will continue to go on as long as we are living.)
There's a saying that I think is correct MOST of the time. :) It says this: "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Some things tell the truth over time...if you know what I mean. You can find out if something is real or temporary just by waiting. Sooner or later, time really will tell you.
Then there are those rare, 'you can count on one hand' moments when time has made your desire for that dream grow far more than you ever imagined. You've prayed, cried over, worked hard to protect, and waited on God the whole way through it....and years later, it's this very pure, real, 'built on a strong foundation' kind of dream. All that's left to do now is wait. Hard as it may be, that 'glorious' day will come.
There's a distance between where you are right now, and where you may want to be. There is a distance between what you have, and what you want to have (good, pure desires). When it is a 'good' distance (the kind that proves itself over time), it is a real beautiful thing.
I've seen it so many times in those closest to me. I've heard their deepest desires and been with them through the midnight 'break-downs' where questioning their own dream is louder than their faith in it. I've been there myself. I'm still there in one or more ways right now. But I can honestly say; this distance that I feel in between the here and the future, is making my heart grow fonder. It's quietly creating a deeper, stronger patience for the wait. Patience is real love...(for whatever you're waiting for)...and it's much deeper than 'what you want right now." The longer you wait - the more selfless you become.
The day you are walking in what you only once dreamed and toiled(emotionally) over, you're also ready for it. You've been preparing and praying for so long. Don't despise the wait...use it, and allow your heart to grow more fond of the future.
There were so many times, I wondered "Is this for real...what I desire/dream?" And time always told me the truth about it's future in my life.
Embrace the waiting....let your heart grow fonder of what you're praying for, dreaming of, longing for. And sooner or later, time will tell you the truth.
Lean on Jesus...you are loved by Him more than you know,
xx
Monday, August 16, 2010
Walk it out...NO WAIT...WRITE it out!
I remember playing sport in middle school and then trading in the "obvious sport" for the kind of sport that people misinterpret for 'mamby pamby' sport - Dance. Let me tell you something...It's no "MAMBY PAMBY" sport! I would challenge any man; or person for that matter to give leaps and high kicks a try for 30 seconds and tell me you're not gonna be sore for about as long as you'd be sore for getting pummeled in football.
OK...Yes, I'm passionate about dance. I digress. :)
BUT. When I played basketball, I loved it! I really was passionate about it. And although I've never been a real big 'competition' type person (i'd rather just play for fun), I loved it. And I'd like to think at the time, I was pretty good. Obviously not WNBA worthy...maybe when I grow up? Every time I got hurt or anyone else got hurt, I'd hear the coach or some random player's over-eccentric, sports fanatic-like mom yell from the stands, "Walk it out, Walk it out...It'd be alright!"
So, we'd 'walk it out.' Even if it was just that the ball hit me in the nose. Same thing; walk it out. Because sooner or later, everything was better. I'd understand it if it were a sprang knee, ankle, or foot type incident, but it was used for EVERY injury. I loved it! Every sport I've watched lived in high school has the same common phrase yelled out somewhere in between the first half of the game, the cheerleaders dance in the middle, and the 2nd half.
The other night I'm laying in bed and all the sudden this "walk it out" thought comes to my mind and then was quickly followed by an abrupt "No...WRITE IT OUT!" I remember thinking that I needed to write so badly in that moment, but I share a room with a 2 year old and my attempt at getting up without making any noise from one room to the next would probably fail. Even though I'm naturally a very light stepper around the house when I need to be.
(Side note: I'm also the lightest sleeper you will probably ever meet. Much to my detriment. Unfortunately it isn't hereditary so I can't blame any of my family members for an 'eyelash blink' that somehow wakes me up.)
Because I was too afraid to wake my nephew, I remained in bed; sure as I'll ever be that in the morning, I'd remember the words that I had at that exact moment. Yeah. Anyone who has a brain and who has ever made writing a hobby or a passion knows that is the decision to 'wait til the morning' is the dumbest one you can make in regards to writing. Because almost every time, you forget it - because you've slept.
I can't explain how much I believe in writing and how much it can actually make your 'darkly-dimmed day' turn into a subtle blue shade of hope; even if you don't necessarily feel it. Once you write it, you lose the weight of it. It's as if you are taking the weight of whatever it is that is effecting you and you're putting on paper. After that point, it's not yours to carry anymore. It's your journal's job now. As weird as that may seem, it's true.
Even now, I've had such a long day. Everything right now is so beautifully graced and favored, but it is also very overwhelming because it is all very unknown. I've never done these things before, I've never seen these things before, and I've never had this much responsibility. But yet, all I can think of doing is writing. It's the only 'sane' thing to do in my head. I can't even begin any one of the 10 projects I need to work on because my mind is too full. And strange as it is, after writing this, I'll be good to go!
So my theory is this...Yes I said THEORY. I'm not trying to be 'weird' or over analyze anything here...just trying to say something that I believe with all my heart will honestly change your life if/when you begin doing it.
WRITE IT OUT! Write out your frustrations, your glories, your sadness, your joys, your failures, your triumphs, your fears, your dreams, and even write out your frustration with another person. Believe me, that's much much better than telling someone else who doesn't need to know that information. Gossip is ugly anyway, and it makes you unattractive. BUT FYI, just make sure you give that person a 'code name' so if they ever read it, you won't offend them later on when you've forgiven them for whatever silly thing happened between the two of you.
I also think that everyone can do this. No matter how many kids you have, whatever job you have, how much free-time you think you have. Write down how you feel, what you dream, what you hope...whatever! I know all kinds of people that do this. Maybe you don't have every day to do this, but you've got once a week right? Try it. Try it for a month and tell me you don't feel better. Maybe you won't...but i'd honestly be surprised.
I love when young people come up to me with things they've written and want me to read it. It's real personal stuff; about family, or fears, or sadness, or their best friend. But I absolutely adore it! And I always let them know how proud of them that I am because it takes 'guts' to put how you feel on paper. It takes 'guts' to let someone else read it. But the more you write, the more you find satisfaction in it.
Will you write things that are horrible and probably don't have any point? Sure. At times, you'll probably write things and then later on read them and think 'what in the world was I thinking?" That's ok. We've all done it. But you learn every time you write. You learn more about yourself both in an academic way and in a personal way.
It's a real-raw-passionate-beautiful-process.
So...WRITE IT OUT! Just do it...you know you want to.
And when you've begun to write, you can then encourage someone else to write. But if you're going to write, don't write to hurt others-write to help others. I promise, if you go in with that mindset, you will most definitely help people.
We can learn so much from each other's life experiences.
Get it going...don't just sit there...really!
You are loved,
Nat
OK...Yes, I'm passionate about dance. I digress. :)
BUT. When I played basketball, I loved it! I really was passionate about it. And although I've never been a real big 'competition' type person (i'd rather just play for fun), I loved it. And I'd like to think at the time, I was pretty good. Obviously not WNBA worthy...maybe when I grow up? Every time I got hurt or anyone else got hurt, I'd hear the coach or some random player's over-eccentric, sports fanatic-like mom yell from the stands, "Walk it out, Walk it out...It'd be alright!"
So, we'd 'walk it out.' Even if it was just that the ball hit me in the nose. Same thing; walk it out. Because sooner or later, everything was better. I'd understand it if it were a sprang knee, ankle, or foot type incident, but it was used for EVERY injury. I loved it! Every sport I've watched lived in high school has the same common phrase yelled out somewhere in between the first half of the game, the cheerleaders dance in the middle, and the 2nd half.
The other night I'm laying in bed and all the sudden this "walk it out" thought comes to my mind and then was quickly followed by an abrupt "No...WRITE IT OUT!" I remember thinking that I needed to write so badly in that moment, but I share a room with a 2 year old and my attempt at getting up without making any noise from one room to the next would probably fail. Even though I'm naturally a very light stepper around the house when I need to be.
(Side note: I'm also the lightest sleeper you will probably ever meet. Much to my detriment. Unfortunately it isn't hereditary so I can't blame any of my family members for an 'eyelash blink' that somehow wakes me up.)
Because I was too afraid to wake my nephew, I remained in bed; sure as I'll ever be that in the morning, I'd remember the words that I had at that exact moment. Yeah. Anyone who has a brain and who has ever made writing a hobby or a passion knows that is the decision to 'wait til the morning' is the dumbest one you can make in regards to writing. Because almost every time, you forget it - because you've slept.
I can't explain how much I believe in writing and how much it can actually make your 'darkly-dimmed day' turn into a subtle blue shade of hope; even if you don't necessarily feel it. Once you write it, you lose the weight of it. It's as if you are taking the weight of whatever it is that is effecting you and you're putting on paper. After that point, it's not yours to carry anymore. It's your journal's job now. As weird as that may seem, it's true.
Even now, I've had such a long day. Everything right now is so beautifully graced and favored, but it is also very overwhelming because it is all very unknown. I've never done these things before, I've never seen these things before, and I've never had this much responsibility. But yet, all I can think of doing is writing. It's the only 'sane' thing to do in my head. I can't even begin any one of the 10 projects I need to work on because my mind is too full. And strange as it is, after writing this, I'll be good to go!
So my theory is this...Yes I said THEORY. I'm not trying to be 'weird' or over analyze anything here...just trying to say something that I believe with all my heart will honestly change your life if/when you begin doing it.
WRITE IT OUT! Write out your frustrations, your glories, your sadness, your joys, your failures, your triumphs, your fears, your dreams, and even write out your frustration with another person. Believe me, that's much much better than telling someone else who doesn't need to know that information. Gossip is ugly anyway, and it makes you unattractive. BUT FYI, just make sure you give that person a 'code name' so if they ever read it, you won't offend them later on when you've forgiven them for whatever silly thing happened between the two of you.
I also think that everyone can do this. No matter how many kids you have, whatever job you have, how much free-time you think you have. Write down how you feel, what you dream, what you hope...whatever! I know all kinds of people that do this. Maybe you don't have every day to do this, but you've got once a week right? Try it. Try it for a month and tell me you don't feel better. Maybe you won't...but i'd honestly be surprised.
I love when young people come up to me with things they've written and want me to read it. It's real personal stuff; about family, or fears, or sadness, or their best friend. But I absolutely adore it! And I always let them know how proud of them that I am because it takes 'guts' to put how you feel on paper. It takes 'guts' to let someone else read it. But the more you write, the more you find satisfaction in it.
Will you write things that are horrible and probably don't have any point? Sure. At times, you'll probably write things and then later on read them and think 'what in the world was I thinking?" That's ok. We've all done it. But you learn every time you write. You learn more about yourself both in an academic way and in a personal way.
It's a real-raw-passionate-beautiful-process.
So...WRITE IT OUT! Just do it...you know you want to.
And when you've begun to write, you can then encourage someone else to write. But if you're going to write, don't write to hurt others-write to help others. I promise, if you go in with that mindset, you will most definitely help people.
We can learn so much from each other's life experiences.
Get it going...don't just sit there...really!
You are loved,
Nat
Friday, August 6, 2010
Love isn't Safe...
I heard a song the other day; then quickly followed it by attempting to find the story behind the song. I'm not sure if you know what I'm talking about when I say this but there are those songs that you love and you'll play on repeat about a dozen times ten times just because you can't get enough of it. Then there are those songs that make you wonder if you've ever written down these lyrics subconsciously and then someone else took them. Only you've never actually voiced them out loud, and to be honest, you probably weren't aware that it was even true about yourself...
I like to call these moments: Wake up calls.
Not exactly the early morning call you want when you've tried to sleep all night long or you've been out all night doing whatever, but it's needed in order to get on with your day; or in other words, your life. These moments usually happen when you least expect them to and that's is probably what I love most about them.
How gracious and compassionate of a God do we serve that He reaches us in ways like this so we can hear Him and become a greater person. Sure it's a painful moment when you realize that you've got YET another area to work on or give up (however you look at it), but it's a beautiful humbling place. Bitter sweet.
Here are the lyrics...
"Safe"
You keep tryin to get inside my head,
While I keep trying to lose the words you said
Can't you see I'm hangin by a thread,
To my life what I know, yeah I'm losing control and
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
I'm so tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe
you're not safe
I'm strong enough, I've always told myself
I never want to need somebody else
But I've already fallen from that hill,
So I'm droppin that guard here's your chance at my heart and
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
I'm so tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't
Everything you want, but its everything you need
Its not always happy endings but its happy in between
Its taken so long, so long to finally see
That your love is worth the risk
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
So tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe
Your not safe
And that's okay
I really haven't lived that long; but I've lived long enough to know that loving someone is such a risk. Just like anyone, I've been hurt, lied to, cheated on, mistreated, used, and the list continues. But let's not stay on this; because, to be honest, that is life. We live in a world full of humanity; and the thing we all share is our initial default to make mistakes. (Thank God He sent His son to save us from ourselves).
And what I never really realized until recently was how much I had created 'unintentional' walls between myself and others; so afraid of so many things. Opening up to someone means that they'll know things about you that they could hold against you. It means being vulnerable and trusting all over again.
But what if something goes wrong???
There were these incredibly amazing people that I would find myself getting to know in friendship and yet there was this small part of me that was so scared to go any further in the friendship. Sadly, they remained exactly where I left them...at a distance. I have concluded many a time that I missed out by not allowing myself to get any closer.
Love is not just a word, it is an action and a lifestyle choice. It is completely selfless, completely vulnerable, completely sacrificial, completely beautiful, and completely messy in the level of risk it requires.
What if you love someone but they don't love you back?
What if someone doesn't really like me when they get to know me?
What if I appear too needy when I confide in them?
When I think of love, I think of Jesus. For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only son. Everything about that beautiful sacrifice was a risk. Who's to say whether or not you or I would ever/or will ever open our hearts to Him? Our returned love was never guaranteed when He gave HIS life, and His love.
The most confronting thing about my 'wake up call' the other day is how much it closely related to how I am with God. I've spent so much time trying to hold it all together (even before God) thinking that I'd be a burden if I didn't, that I missed out on the blessing of relationship God was trying to bring to my life.
I always talk about how much we all need each other. "We were created for relationship - not just with God but also with each other." There is absolutely nothing safe about loving someone or being loved, but it is so worth the risk it requires.
BUT; the other day, I was awakened to the fact that I didn't actually believe completely in what I was 'preaching.' I mean, I absolutely loved when others would confide in me and need me for things; but I was so afraid that as soon as I needed someone for the same reasons - that others would never want to reciprocate it. What a horrible distrust I had built in people! To clarify, there are near and dear people in my life that I have completely opened up my heart to - without any reserve or disappointment in doing so. But I just allowed myself to remain safe...with everyone.
Reality is that we can't possibly trust every single person we come into contact with. But for those who have a underlying fear to trust anyone and will unintentionally hold people at a safe distance (and not realize it), please know that (along with myself) it's probably time to break down these self-made walls we have selfishly built (with good intentions:).
The more I read about Wisdom, the more I notice that wisdom doesn't build walls, but it has this caution and strength that can protect you from unnecessary pain. We can't possibly know the intentions of every person we come in contact with; and that is where godly wisdom comes into play. But what I always want to remember is how much of a risk Christ has taken with you and I.
Getting hurt in any relationship is inevitable; and that being said from a place of optimism. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't take the risk in caring and loving for someone.
We could be missing out on one of the most influential relationships that will ever exist in our life. Love isn't safe...and that's ok...because I would rather live a life with no regrets.
I want to be known because I gave. Instead of being so afraid to give that I never knew real love to the fullest.
Whoever you are...fear has no place..PERFECT LOVE (comes with risk) replaces and 'casts' out all fear.
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of running away from something that I actually need. I only wish I could apologize to all those I'm sure I pushed away...
Jesus gave and loved to the fullest. He did that for us...because He believed there was no risk in loving you and I that wasn't worth dying for.
Breathe that thought in...
you are loved.
xx
I like to call these moments: Wake up calls.
Not exactly the early morning call you want when you've tried to sleep all night long or you've been out all night doing whatever, but it's needed in order to get on with your day; or in other words, your life. These moments usually happen when you least expect them to and that's is probably what I love most about them.
How gracious and compassionate of a God do we serve that He reaches us in ways like this so we can hear Him and become a greater person. Sure it's a painful moment when you realize that you've got YET another area to work on or give up (however you look at it), but it's a beautiful humbling place. Bitter sweet.
Here are the lyrics...
"Safe"
You keep tryin to get inside my head,
While I keep trying to lose the words you said
Can't you see I'm hangin by a thread,
To my life what I know, yeah I'm losing control and
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
I'm so tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe
you're not safe
I'm strong enough, I've always told myself
I never want to need somebody else
But I've already fallen from that hill,
So I'm droppin that guard here's your chance at my heart and
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
I'm so tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't
Everything you want, but its everything you need
Its not always happy endings but its happy in between
Its taken so long, so long to finally see
That your love is worth the risk
Oh no, my walls are gonna break
So close, its more than I can take
So tired of turning and running away
When love just isn't safe
Your not safe
And that's okay
I really haven't lived that long; but I've lived long enough to know that loving someone is such a risk. Just like anyone, I've been hurt, lied to, cheated on, mistreated, used, and the list continues. But let's not stay on this; because, to be honest, that is life. We live in a world full of humanity; and the thing we all share is our initial default to make mistakes. (Thank God He sent His son to save us from ourselves).
And what I never really realized until recently was how much I had created 'unintentional' walls between myself and others; so afraid of so many things. Opening up to someone means that they'll know things about you that they could hold against you. It means being vulnerable and trusting all over again.
But what if something goes wrong???
There were these incredibly amazing people that I would find myself getting to know in friendship and yet there was this small part of me that was so scared to go any further in the friendship. Sadly, they remained exactly where I left them...at a distance. I have concluded many a time that I missed out by not allowing myself to get any closer.
Love is not just a word, it is an action and a lifestyle choice. It is completely selfless, completely vulnerable, completely sacrificial, completely beautiful, and completely messy in the level of risk it requires.
What if you love someone but they don't love you back?
What if someone doesn't really like me when they get to know me?
What if I appear too needy when I confide in them?
When I think of love, I think of Jesus. For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only son. Everything about that beautiful sacrifice was a risk. Who's to say whether or not you or I would ever/or will ever open our hearts to Him? Our returned love was never guaranteed when He gave HIS life, and His love.
The most confronting thing about my 'wake up call' the other day is how much it closely related to how I am with God. I've spent so much time trying to hold it all together (even before God) thinking that I'd be a burden if I didn't, that I missed out on the blessing of relationship God was trying to bring to my life.
I always talk about how much we all need each other. "We were created for relationship - not just with God but also with each other." There is absolutely nothing safe about loving someone or being loved, but it is so worth the risk it requires.
BUT; the other day, I was awakened to the fact that I didn't actually believe completely in what I was 'preaching.' I mean, I absolutely loved when others would confide in me and need me for things; but I was so afraid that as soon as I needed someone for the same reasons - that others would never want to reciprocate it. What a horrible distrust I had built in people! To clarify, there are near and dear people in my life that I have completely opened up my heart to - without any reserve or disappointment in doing so. But I just allowed myself to remain safe...with everyone.
Reality is that we can't possibly trust every single person we come into contact with. But for those who have a underlying fear to trust anyone and will unintentionally hold people at a safe distance (and not realize it), please know that (along with myself) it's probably time to break down these self-made walls we have selfishly built (with good intentions:).
The more I read about Wisdom, the more I notice that wisdom doesn't build walls, but it has this caution and strength that can protect you from unnecessary pain. We can't possibly know the intentions of every person we come in contact with; and that is where godly wisdom comes into play. But what I always want to remember is how much of a risk Christ has taken with you and I.
Getting hurt in any relationship is inevitable; and that being said from a place of optimism. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't take the risk in caring and loving for someone.
We could be missing out on one of the most influential relationships that will ever exist in our life. Love isn't safe...and that's ok...because I would rather live a life with no regrets.
I want to be known because I gave. Instead of being so afraid to give that I never knew real love to the fullest.
Whoever you are...fear has no place..PERFECT LOVE (comes with risk) replaces and 'casts' out all fear.
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of running away from something that I actually need. I only wish I could apologize to all those I'm sure I pushed away...
Jesus gave and loved to the fullest. He did that for us...because He believed there was no risk in loving you and I that wasn't worth dying for.
Breathe that thought in...
you are loved.
xx
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A Burning Heart
Here I am typing this at 12:49am...with this feeling of 'butterflies' in my stomach. You know that feeling you get when you like someone and you see them...yeah...that one :)
Well these butterflies are the result of something totally different...kinda. Ha...
I never expected that being obedient and leaving Sydney would result in how I feel in the present. Of course, it's usually that way. You can never see that far into the future enough to know that everything is eventually going to be better than you thought; and even more, pretty darn amazing!
Right now, I'm working at a church in San Angelo, Texas. Not that big of a city, but big enough to blink and see a need and another hurting person attached to the need. Big enough to see a beggar holding a sign with a genuine need for a job. I got to admit, this place wasn't 'in the cards' in regards to my plan, but it's become quite perfect. I work for this amazing church who have already blessed me beyond what I could have imagined.
Here's the cool part!
I've got all these ideas, dreams, BIGGG ones that are brewing (like coffee) every night when I go to bed and and continue to roast when I wake up in the morning. They NEVER stop coming! I love every minute of 'sleeplessness' when it comes.
And you know what? When God calls you somewhere whether now or in the future, people are gonna say things about why they believe you are making the decisions you're making and whether your motives are right...and I think that is a question that can only be tested between you and God. Aside from that...it's all good. Don't let other people's opinions persuade you to sway away from the seed God planted...cause all kinds of opinions will flare up - but who cares!
(don't know where that all came from!?)
ANY WAY.
Aside from leading a team of amazing worshipers every week, I also get this phenomenal opportunity to be a teacher's aide for 5th graders at a school. I always thought I'd love to teach; not sure if I ever will but at least I get to have a small taste of what it'd be like. Our church runs a school that just became a Charter school which means that it is now funded completely by the State. (a really good thing by the way!). One of the requirements that the State gives us is that we have to run an 'after school' program for the kids who's parents aren't able to pick them up until later in the evening. During this time we are actually allowed to speak about Jesus.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I GET TO HANG OUT WITH KIDS AND TALK TO THEM ABOUT JESUS!?
My heart is ablaze! Mostly with ideas for the future...but I realize now that everything starts with now. Right now, what am I doing with my life? Maybe studying online for a degree in Psychology doesn't quite make sense right now because it's definitely not what I would have picked for my life...but at least I'm moving forward.
God can only work with something that is moving. And even if you're going in an awkward direction, He'll steer it back to where it needed to be in the first place.
No regrets I say...No regrets. That's how I want to feel when I am at the end of my life.
So go ahead and allow the heart to be ablaze...let the dreams bubble up from within you and make an appearance on the surface one day. Some will, some may not. A heart that is ablaze is infectious...you draw others to you. A heart on fire is so attractive....!!!! It's addictive, and persuasive, full of love, full of ideas that aren't too scared to be shared because failure is just a word, not the end.
A burning heart may fail at something but it doesn't know how to stop because it's got to light something else to spread the fire...when one fire burns out, another fire lights it back up again. (This is where we need each other - I'm so big on this!)
Alright...now I'm just rambling. But I hope you get my drift...
It's now an hour later, and I'm still full of 'butterflies'...yeah I'm totally 'giddy'...worthily so!
In the words of one of the greatest people I know (Chris Pace) says, "Keep the fire burning."
WORD.
You are loved....xx
Well these butterflies are the result of something totally different...kinda. Ha...
I never expected that being obedient and leaving Sydney would result in how I feel in the present. Of course, it's usually that way. You can never see that far into the future enough to know that everything is eventually going to be better than you thought; and even more, pretty darn amazing!
Right now, I'm working at a church in San Angelo, Texas. Not that big of a city, but big enough to blink and see a need and another hurting person attached to the need. Big enough to see a beggar holding a sign with a genuine need for a job. I got to admit, this place wasn't 'in the cards' in regards to my plan, but it's become quite perfect. I work for this amazing church who have already blessed me beyond what I could have imagined.
Here's the cool part!
I've got all these ideas, dreams, BIGGG ones that are brewing (like coffee) every night when I go to bed and and continue to roast when I wake up in the morning. They NEVER stop coming! I love every minute of 'sleeplessness' when it comes.
And you know what? When God calls you somewhere whether now or in the future, people are gonna say things about why they believe you are making the decisions you're making and whether your motives are right...and I think that is a question that can only be tested between you and God. Aside from that...it's all good. Don't let other people's opinions persuade you to sway away from the seed God planted...cause all kinds of opinions will flare up - but who cares!
(don't know where that all came from!?)
ANY WAY.
Aside from leading a team of amazing worshipers every week, I also get this phenomenal opportunity to be a teacher's aide for 5th graders at a school. I always thought I'd love to teach; not sure if I ever will but at least I get to have a small taste of what it'd be like. Our church runs a school that just became a Charter school which means that it is now funded completely by the State. (a really good thing by the way!). One of the requirements that the State gives us is that we have to run an 'after school' program for the kids who's parents aren't able to pick them up until later in the evening. During this time we are actually allowed to speak about Jesus.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I GET TO HANG OUT WITH KIDS AND TALK TO THEM ABOUT JESUS!?
My heart is ablaze! Mostly with ideas for the future...but I realize now that everything starts with now. Right now, what am I doing with my life? Maybe studying online for a degree in Psychology doesn't quite make sense right now because it's definitely not what I would have picked for my life...but at least I'm moving forward.
God can only work with something that is moving. And even if you're going in an awkward direction, He'll steer it back to where it needed to be in the first place.
No regrets I say...No regrets. That's how I want to feel when I am at the end of my life.
So go ahead and allow the heart to be ablaze...let the dreams bubble up from within you and make an appearance on the surface one day. Some will, some may not. A heart that is ablaze is infectious...you draw others to you. A heart on fire is so attractive....!!!! It's addictive, and persuasive, full of love, full of ideas that aren't too scared to be shared because failure is just a word, not the end.
A burning heart may fail at something but it doesn't know how to stop because it's got to light something else to spread the fire...when one fire burns out, another fire lights it back up again. (This is where we need each other - I'm so big on this!)
Alright...now I'm just rambling. But I hope you get my drift...
It's now an hour later, and I'm still full of 'butterflies'...yeah I'm totally 'giddy'...worthily so!
In the words of one of the greatest people I know (Chris Pace) says, "Keep the fire burning."
WORD.
You are loved....xx
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