Love isn't Safe...

I heard a song the other day; then quickly followed it by attempting to find the story behind the song. I'm not sure if you know what I'm talking about when I say this but there are those songs that you love and you'll play on repeat about a dozen times ten times just because you can't get enough of it. Then there are those songs that make you wonder if you've ever written down these lyrics subconsciously and then someone else took them. Only you've never actually voiced them out loud, and to be honest, you probably weren't aware that it was even true about yourself...

I like to call these moments: Wake up calls.

Not exactly the early morning call you want when you've tried to sleep all night long or you've been out all night doing whatever, but it's needed in order to get on with your day; or in other words, your life. These moments usually happen when you least expect them to and that's is probably what I love most about them.

How gracious and compassionate of a God do we serve that He reaches us in ways like this so we can hear Him and become a greater person. Sure it's a painful moment when you realize that you've got YET another area to work on or give up (however you look at it), but it's a beautiful humbling place. Bitter sweet.

Here are the lyrics...

"Safe"

You keep tryin to get inside my head, 
While I keep trying to lose the words you said 
Can't you see I'm hangin by a thread, 
To my life what I know, yeah I'm losing control and 
Oh no, my walls are gonna break 
So close, its more than I can take 
I'm so tired of turning and running away 
When love just isn't safe  
you're not safe
I'm strong enough, I've always told myself 
I never want to need somebody else 
But I've already fallen from that hill, 
So I'm droppin that guard here's your chance at my heart and 

Oh no, my walls are gonna break 
So close, its more than I can take 
I'm so tired of turning and running away 
When love just isn't 

Everything you want, but its everything you need 
Its not always happy endings but its happy in between 
Its taken so long, so long to finally see 
That your love is worth the risk 

Oh no, my walls are gonna break 
So close, its more than I can take 
So tired of turning and running away 
When love just isn't safe 

Your not safe 
And that's okay


I really haven't lived that long; but I've lived long enough to know that loving someone is such a risk. Just like anyone, I've been hurt, lied to, cheated on, mistreated, used, and the list continues. But let's not stay on this; because, to be honest, that is life. We live in a world full of humanity; and the thing we all share is our initial default to make mistakes. (Thank God He sent His son to save us from ourselves).

And what I never really realized until recently was how much I had created 'unintentional' walls between myself and others; so afraid of so many things. Opening up to someone means that they'll know things about you that they could hold against you. It means being vulnerable and trusting all over again.

But what if something goes wrong???

There were these incredibly amazing people that I would find myself getting to know in friendship and yet there was this small part of me that was so scared to go any further in the friendship. Sadly, they remained exactly where I left them...at a distance. I have concluded many a time that I missed out by not allowing myself to get any closer.

Love is not just a word, it is an action and a lifestyle choice. It is completely selfless, completely vulnerable, completely sacrificial, completely beautiful, and completely messy in the level of risk it requires.

What if you love someone but they don't love you back? 


What if someone doesn't really like me when they get to know me? 

What if I appear too needy when I confide in them?

When I think of love, I think of Jesus. For God so LOVED the world, that he gave his only son. Everything about that beautiful sacrifice was a risk. Who's to say whether or not you or I would ever/or will ever open our hearts to Him? Our returned love was never guaranteed when He gave HIS life, and His love.

The most confronting thing about my 'wake up call' the other day is how much it closely related to how I am with God. I've spent so much time trying to hold it all together (even before God) thinking that I'd be a burden if I didn't, that I missed out on the blessing of relationship God was trying to bring to my life.

I always talk about how much we all need each other. "We were created for relationship - not just with God but also with each other." There is absolutely nothing safe about loving someone or being loved, but it is so worth the risk it requires.

BUT; the other day, I was awakened to the fact that I didn't actually believe completely in what I was 'preaching.' I mean, I absolutely loved when others would confide in me and need me for things; but I was so afraid that as soon as I needed someone for the same reasons - that others would never want to reciprocate it. What a horrible distrust I had built in people! To clarify, there are near and dear people in my life that I have completely opened up my heart to - without any reserve or disappointment in doing so. But I just allowed myself to remain safe...with everyone.

Reality is that we can't possibly trust every single person we come into contact with. But for those who have a underlying fear to trust anyone and will unintentionally hold people at a safe distance (and not realize it), please know that (along with myself) it's probably time to break down these self-made walls we have selfishly built (with good intentions:).

The more I read about Wisdom, the more I notice that wisdom doesn't build walls, but it has this caution and strength that can protect you from unnecessary pain. We can't possibly know the intentions of every person we come in contact with; and that is where godly wisdom comes into play. But what I always want to remember is how much of a risk Christ has taken with you and I.

Getting hurt in any relationship is inevitable; and that being said from a place of optimism. But it doesn't mean we shouldn't take the risk in caring and loving for someone.

We could be missing out on one of the most influential relationships that will ever exist in our life. Love isn't safe...and that's ok...because I would rather live a life with no regrets.

I want to be known because I gave. Instead of being so afraid to give that I never knew real love to the fullest.

Whoever you are...fear has no place..PERFECT LOVE (comes with risk) replaces and 'casts' out all fear.
I don't know about you, but I'm tired of running away from something that I actually need. I only wish I could apologize to all those I'm sure I pushed away...

Jesus gave and loved to the fullest. He did that for us...because He believed there was no risk in loving you and I that wasn't worth dying for.

Breathe that thought in...

you are loved.
xx