I'm Still Adjusting to this...

What do you say when you're still adjusting to the way things are? And by adjusting, I mean that you know where you are meant to be...but your heart is still adjusting to the idea of it. You heart still wants to be somewhere else.

And the adjustment you're trying to adjust to is; for a lack of a better way to describe it, a RUDE adjustment. Abrupt, fuzzy, and unclear.........................for now.

When people constantly ask when you're coming back; and if you were honest, you can't answer because It hurts (in a way) to talk about it. It seems more final when you say it out loud. It feels like you're letting go of your dream and you're throwing it away.

BUT. DEEP, DEEP DOWN...YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT ISN'T TRUE.

It's an emotion that can be quickly countered by a truth. A promise, God has given you. Another vision, dream, idea....because when one door closes, another one will open. It's bittersweet.

You gotta be above the constant asking of 'why'...and 'did I go wrong somewhere? You gotta be about the 'Now' instead.

I woke up this morning with heaviness of heart and spirit, and I knew immediately I needed to talk to Jesus. It was one of 'those' mornings. And that's OK. It happens...

Today, I'm still adjusting to the reality of being here and not there...

But when I go to HIM...He hears, and cares, and He restores hope. And  then, He sets me back on the path of good perspective. And sometimes, there are still tears...deep tears. I know It's because I've still not let go. I'm learning....

But none of this changes who God is. He is still good.

And even more, He is so faithful to walk through these journeys we have to go on to realize His 'best for us' really is the best. He's patient, and kind. Sometimes; like a father, He shows me where I'm being childish and silly. And strange as it seems, I like those moments best.

So today, I'm still adjusting to the reality of being here and not there...

But the beautiful part about all this is that God is HERE with me NOW.

I've got nothing to fear....!!!!

You are loved. xx